60-year-old bridesmaid alters outfit, bride tells her not to wear "chopped up dress": 'I would not want to be seen wearing it in public'

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Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Jan 18, 2025 11:00 AM EST

Bridesmaid dresses are notoriously unflattering, as many women who have taken on that special role in a wedding can tell you.

Why are bridesmaid dresses so hard to get right? The bride has the best intentions: she'll choose a nice color to represent her wedding ceremony, and ask her bridesmaid besties to wear identical dresses. The reason it's so hard to get this right is that trying to get 10 people to look good in the same dress is just impossible! People have different body types and are flattered by different colors. 

Some brides choose a color, then let their bridesmaids pick flattering dresses in that exact shade. This method is a bit more forgiving. Not to mention that some dresses might look one way on a slimmer body type, but can then be quite revealing on someone who has a larger body. Some women are more comfortable showing off their body, while others prefer to stay covered up, and both women should have the chance to pick a gown they can dance the night away in with comfort. If the bridesmaids can try on different dresses and find something that they feel confident and beautiful wearing, that's a win-win for the bride and her crew. 

After that, read about the 16 and 19-year-old siblings who teamed up against their mom after she tried to make the younger sibling get a job. 

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10455897856
    via Tai's Captures on Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02

    "AITA for altering a bridesmaid dress so it's not so revealing?"

    My brother Joe (55M) is about to marry Sue (27F). A few months ago Sue asked both me (60F) and my sister June (53F) to be bridesmaids. I was touched, as I have only met Sue a few times (they live in another state). Besides myself and June, there are four other bridesmaids, all under 30.
    via u/Fluffy_Vast_8210
  • 03
    When Sue sent me the link for the bridesmaid dress, I was horrified. I'm sure the dress will look lovely on her young friends, but I would not want to be seen wearing it in public. It's super - plunging neckline, thigh- high slit, so clingy that it would reveal every lump on my rump. Please understand that I am not a prude. I am reasonably fit, and I enjoy dressing up, but I AM 60 yrs old. I would not be
    via u/Fluffy_Vast_8210
  • 04
    comfortable showing that much skin at a formal event with all of our relatives present. I called Sue and nicely asked if there's a more modest version I could wear. She insisted this was the dress she wanted all her bridesmaids in. She wouldn't budge, and not wanting to cause family strife, I didn't push it. (June doesn't like it either, but she's a marathon runner so she can pull it off!)
    via u/Fluffy_Vast_8210
  • 05
    So I ordered the dress several sizes too large. I took it to a seamstress and had her take it in so it fits, but doesn't cling so tightly to my backside. Using some of the extra fabric she fixed the neckline so it doesn't reveal so much boobage. And she lowered the height of the thigh slit to a few inches above my knee, rather than nearly to my The adjustments are very subtle and hardly noticeable. It actually looks great on me now.
    via u/Fluffy_Vast_8210
  • 06
    When Sue heard I'd had the dress altered, she flew into a rage! She texted me that she does not want a "chopped up dress" in her wedding pictures. I sent her photos of me wearing it, but she's not having it. Joe called and told me that I've been "disinvited" from the wedding party, and they have replaced me with another friend.
    via u/Fluffy_Vast_8210
  • 07
    I thought they didn't want me at the wedding at all, so I cancelled my hotel reservation (I hadn't bought my plane ticket yet). Clearly I've upset Sue, and I don't want there to be conflict on her big day. Plus, I'm afraid there would be awkward questions about why my sister is a bridesmaid and I am not. It seems to me it would be less awkward for them to respond to any questions about me with vague "she was unable to make the trip"
    via u/Fluffy_Vast_8210
  • 08
    answers. I'm also not keen on spending more money on this event where I don't really feel welcome. I've already dropped several hundred on the dress, alterations, and matching shoes. I let Joe know I still am very happy for him and will of course send them a generous wedding gift. But he said they DID want me there, and now he's not speaking to me at all, and Sue is telling June that I "ruined" her wedding.
    via u/Fluffy_Vast_8210
  • 09
    AITA for altering the dress so I wouldn't feel n ked? And once that blew up, for not wanting to go to the wedding?
    via u/Fluffy_Vast_8210
  • 10
    Cheezburger Image 10455897344
    via Taylor Gray on Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 11

    People were pretty divided on this tale

    UnfairEntrance159 NTA. Sue's acting like you ruined your dress completely, even though you paid a professional. Also the age gap between the "happy couple" is a little odd, she shouldn't be surprised that a different generation wants to dress slightly differently.
    via u/UnfairEntrance159
  • 12

    The bridesmaid seems pretty reasonable here, but not everyone would agree

    Fluffy_Vast_8210 OP Thank you! You seem to "get" it. I actually paid quite a bit of money to the seamstress, and she did a lovely job. The dress barely looks different from the others at all, it just covers me up a bit more, which seems more appropriate for a 60 year old woman. I truly did think this was the best solution and would make everyone happy. Boy was I wrong.
    via u/Fluffy_Vast_8210
  • 13
    For context, this is my brother's second marriage, and yep, she's quite a bit younger than he is. But they do seem to be genuinely in love, so I wish them well. The wedding is next month, and I still haven't decided if I should just bite the bullet and face the awkwardness by attending.
    via u/Fluffy_Vast_8210
  • 14
    Miserable_Denti... Honestly your mistake was letting anyone know you did it. NTA, the whole bride me me me thing makes me want to vomit.
    via u/Miserable_Dentist_70
  • 15
    Fluffy_Vast_8210 OP Thank you. For the record, I didn't actually tell her. I mentioned it to my sister when we were commiserating about how awful the dress was. She mentioned it to my brother, who told Sue. Ugh. You're right, I should have just kept it to myself! She may not have even noticed, or had the time to made a big deal about it during the wedding.
    via u/Fluffy_Vast_8210
  • 16
    ABeerAndABook ESH. I knew we were in for a ride with the 55 year old groom and 27 year old bride and this did not disappoint. I feel like these dresses either skew super fancy or super trashy and I have a theory on which end of the spectrum they fall.
    via u/AB**AndABook
  • 17
    Regardless, the bride is acting a little over controlling here and Joe is enabling the vengeful crazy. OP asked for a reasonable accommodation and they went nuclear. OP is being an AH to themself by still sending a "generous wedding gift" after being so blatantly
    via u/AB**AndABook
  • 18
    discarded. Technically alternating the dress unilaterally was suspect, but given the circumstances and they type of people she's dealing with i give a pass on that since it was done tastefully within the spirit of the original.
    via u/AB**AndABook
  • 19

    That age gap is quite large! He's basically twice her age!

    StAlvis ESH Eww. Joe (55M) Sue (27F) She insisted this was the dress she wanted all her bridesmaids in. She wouldn't
    via u/StAlvis
  • 20
    budge, and not wanting to cause family strife, I didn't push it. Your option here is: Drop out. Either be a bridesmaid and wear what the bridesmaids wear, or don't. The adjustments are very subtle and
    via u/StAlvis
  • 21
    hardly noticeable. Ultimately, not your call.
    via u/StAlvis
  • 22
    Cultural_Section... You're happy for you brother marrying someone half his age?
    via u/Cultural_Section_862
  • 23

    I agree with this person: that marriage seems rocky already

    magog12 NTA because of age difference, this marriage won't last. in ten years your brother will be retiring and she will be in her late 30s. Catch the next one.
    via u/magog12
  • 24
    murphy2345678 NTA. You shouldn't send a gift.
    via u/murphy2345678

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bride marriage bridesmaids ceremony wedding ceremony wedding family dress weddings
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